Style Statement -- Live by your own design

From Carolee’s blog, www.caroleeflatley.com, post dated February 6th, 2010.

I feel blessed that life-changing experiences have been raining down upon me since I’ve been opening myself up. Gabrielle Bernstein, Dr. Aron and others have made a difference in my life, allowed me to see myself in a new light. I feel like a whole new person. But this was all just prep now as I look at it. The tough work to earn me the cash? Prep. Taking a leap of faith? Prep. Opening up my mind? Prep. Prep for what you might ask?

Innovative Ease.

Two words. Two words I would have never put together. Two words that, in their way, encompass me, completely and totally. Who I am now, where I want to be, where I need to go. I am the embodiment of Innovated Ease, even if I’m not yet the cleanest conduit. From here on, all work will be toward the one goal: actualizing my Style Statement.

Where did these two words come from? From Carrie listening and hearing what I couldn’t hear in myself. Who’s Carrie, you may ask? Carrie McCarthy is the power behind Style Statement, in her own words, “an invitation to make more powerful choices… to create your life with intention, to communicate who you are in all you do.”

She released a book about the Style Statement process in early 2008. I picked it up shortly after it was published, at the suggestion of Gala Darling. I worked on it in starts and stops, and finally I created my two words, Comfortable Play. And while that fit my life at that time, it didn’t sit right with me. It felt like a costume I put on. While I liked those two things, something sat wrong, it wasn’t me. It wasn’t my essence, it wasn’t the whole me.

I read Carrie’s blog, thinking, “Oh man… I should work on that again. Something’s calling me, but I just don’t know what…” It was actually through the blog that I found out about HSP’s. Carrie was already sending me knowledge (whether she knew it or not) that was changing my life new ways.

When I saw that she was offering a new year special on her one-on-one sessions, I took a leap of faith. Yes, it was somewhat expensive for an underemployed person, but maybe this was a sign from the universe. I signed up and though I was scared, it was an excited scared. I was ready to be busted open. I was just nervous about what I might find.

For twenty-four hours before my session, my stomach was full of butterflies. As it approached, I couldn’t sleep. I was worried I would be sick. For some reason, I could go through first dates, interviews, whatever, with panache! I am who I am, people will judge me, but I’ll know I did my best. For this, I was talking with someone who was ready to offer me the core of who I am, distilled into two words. Someone I’d never met! I sipped my cup of tea and pressed call, nervous but ready for anything.

Carrie put me at ease immediately. We had a brief talk about everything and nothing. Time flew and when we were done, I felt sad it was over. It was a conversation, one I’d enjoyed thoroughly (I mean, who doesn’t love talking about the things they love?) and wished I could continue so much longer. She asked me to give her 20 minutes. Longest twenty minutes of my life… I was excited, not knowing what to expect, the closest thing I’ll ever feel to being an expectant parent. Like I’m waiting to meet someone I’ve known my whole life.

And that’s when she said it: Innovative Ease. As she explained what that meant, I knew it. I’d been thinking too small, way too small. She had seen the whole picture, from the details to the big picture and refined it: two words. Pure inspiration flooded through me. I was ready for this. So so ready.

What’s my next step? I don’t know really. Carrie gave me great tips, books to read and that’s where I”ll begin. It’s a lesson life has been teaching me over, over and over again – relax, have faith, be yourself!  I’m going to post my Style Statement somewhere huge to remind me. The key? It’s ease!

Carolee Flatley

I admit it. I’ve been rather lackluster and uninspired lately, therefore I can’t remember where I heard about your site or your book. I’m surprised that I even ordered it because honestly, I don’t have time to read anything that’s not a textbook. I’m a thirty-something that dropped out of college the first time around; now I will be graduating in December. So I’m busy. And that’s barely including life with my two school-aged children and husband.

I brought your book with me to read during the two-plus hours I have of downtime during my daughter’s dance lessons. Truthfully, I should have been reading for school or doing math homework. But I’ve been not feeling quite myself, so I decided to cut myself a little slack and take a break from the grind. I sat in a coffee shop, book in hand.

I read fast on a normal day, but this wasn’t really reading. I devoured this book. I dug through my overfilled purse for a pencil and started filling out answers. “Comfort, comfortable, comforting.” Over and over these words popped up.

I dug my heels in. “Comfortable” just sounded too predictable. I envisioned myself on one of my not-so-stylish days, clad in sweats and crocs, trudging to class with a mom-hairdo. “Comfortable” sounded sloppy. “Oh great,” I thought, “well at least I won’t have a hard time living up to it.”

Then I read the definition. Hmmm. Interesting. Sounds more like me. Then I read the synonyms. Tears literally filled my eyes. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Several of the words swam to the top. “Cared for, protected, strengthened.” There are others, sure, and all quite fitting for me as well, but I’ve been trying to make sense of a situation in my life and I felt like here was my serendipity. I was being reminded that I was indeed worthy and deserving of these things in my life.

The other word fell into place easily and with much less drama. “Creative.” Lately it’s been too much of the first and not nearly enough of the second. So I set aside the overdue chores and even the textbooks and tidied up my little studio of crafty goodness in preparation for a minimum of 15 minutes daily on something that soothes my soul.

I know I’ve rambled on for quite a bit here, but I had to do it. Part of what feeds me is comforting and caring for others and I thought you might like to know that you have made me well. “Made well,” another of my synonyms.

Jori Maguire, Comfortable Creative

I have a BA in sociology, a BSW, an MBA, and I strongly identify as a feminist. So Traditional Feminine was not an obvious match for me. I used to feel confused when I was drawn to traditional things and ways of being (like my delicate, princess-cut wedding ring and my yearning to be a full-time mom) because I perceived myself as so independent and modern. But the truth is clear within my directions and desires. I chose to study both social work and business; to return to the Catholic Church after years away; to name our child in honor of family members. I love to feed friends. I adore family legacy and ritual. Since my Style Statement “realization,” I’m celebrating my feminine power in ways that are more truly and naturally me.

And that is liberation!

Founder of Style Statement Inc. Co-founder of CarrieandDanielle.com. Co-creator of the book Style Statement: Live by Your Own Design.

Guiding commitments for her business:

• Be of service
• Create beauty
• Be self-expressed
• Be profitable
• Run a wonderful company to work in

Carrie is committed to creating beauty and meaning. She has designed for small studios and multi-million-dollar estates; styled for lifestyle magazines, luxury hotels, and architectural firms.

Graduate of the London College of Fashion. Established Robe, a successful dress company – a dramatic contrast from her early career as a nationally ranked track and field athlete.

Gives thanks every morning upon waking. Committed to treasuring herself, others, and the earth. Loves to get to the essence.

FASHION: Pared down, elegant. Rubber boots. Striped t-shirt, polka dot scarf, cashmere. Tunics with gold slides. Slim Keith and Babe Paley. Stan Smith sneakers. Considers the best accessory in the world feeling joyful.

DESIRE: To be a master of communication

APPRECIATIVE OF: Nature

TO DO LIST: Meditate, cultivate detachment, exercise, be of service daily, return phone calls ASAP, take a shower! (she has a one-month-old baby boy)

SUPPORTIVE OF: Athletes and artists

Laura Bray, the founder of katydid designs, has a hip website, katydiddys, where art meets business. Laura recently blogged about her Style Statement journey. Read about how she’s incorporated her two magical words into her life. Thanks for spreading the word, Laura!

Creative Nostalgia

Since finding an official label for my style, I’ve felt a renewed sense of self-esteem and my artwork and business has flourished. Why? Because I know what it means to be authentic to myself. Yes, I’m talking about style, but style doesn’t stop with your clothes and home decor. It’s how you live your life. I know it’s silly to think finding two little words would make a difference, but you would surprised by how liberating it is. If you think about it, the most successful business people and celebrities all have a very distinct style. There’s got to be something to that. Rachel Ashwell built an entire empire out of her style, Shabby Chic.

So what is Creative Nostalgia? It’s all about being creative, resourceful and comfortable with change, all while maintaining sentimentality for past eras (in my case, the 1940-50s). You can see it in my art. I use bright contemporary colors, but there’s always a little bit of nostalgia in my work too. (I could write paragraphs about this style, but I’ll spare you.)

I highly encourage you to your hands on a copy of Style Statement and find out what your style is. I can guarantee you that it’s not Shabby Chic or Creative Nostalgia. We are all individuals and there are about a million descriptive word combinations available. Once you get your style down, why not start incorporating into your life? I’ve been doing just that and I have to tell you, I’ve been feeling like one slick chick lately. Here’s how I’ve purposefully started integrating my style into my life:

• I got my haircut and colored. Thicker bangs are reminiscent of the 1950s, yet the cut doesn’t scream Rockabilly (cause I’ve got that whole creative thing going and I’m updating a classic). It’s also much redder. It’s funny because my hair was red in my early 20s and I used to feel great about myself. Then I decided I had to get conservative and grown-up and started going more auburn and I felt much less happy about myself. Proof to me that my whole theory about style=authenticity=happiness is true.

• I’m concentrating on buying clothes that reflect my style better. I’m not shopping at thrift stores, but I do look for styles that are mildly reminiscent of days past. A great example of Creative Nostalgia in clothing is the resurgence of aprons. They are an old-fashioned concept, creatively renewed in bright colors and modern fabrics. I also love anything that looks handmade. I’m hanging out in Anthropologie a lot more (waiting for sales!). Since staying home with my daughter, I’ve had a really hard time dressing myself. Mainly because I was always dressed up for work or fancy dinners, so this casual thing eluded me. Now that I have a jumping off point, I’m feeling more confident about dressing myself.

• I made a playlist on my iPod and call it Creative Nostalgia. From oldies like Frank Sinatra and Ella Fitzgerald to newer music like the Puppini Sisters (they sing like the Andrews Sisters, doing covers of old Smith songs!).

• I’m even applying my style to my weight loss schemes. I have faced the facts that I’m just not built to be model thin. I’ve posted photos of my movie idols from days past as my inspiration instead. I’m curvy and so the idea of working towards a 1950s starlet type of “ideal body” takes a lot of pressure off me and seems much more realistic.

• A friend of mine is currently figuring out her style and once she does, we are each hosting a girl’s night out that reflects our individual style. There’s a restaurant around here that does the whole old-fashioned, nightclub thing, complete with a floorshow and I’m thinking that might be included in my night out.

So, what’s your style? How have you incorporated it into your life?

I love being an adult. I love that I can do whatever I want, whenever I want. It just feels great to be in charge – the absolute freedom of it. What I possess in spades, is effusive, eccentric, wild-card energy. Before my Style Statement, I would have said that my artistic nature was my greatest attribute. But my Style Statement is Structured Magic. And it really made me step back and realize that the shazam and pizzazz rests on solid grid lines. And if I forget that, I can definitely feel myself floating off into the ether. It’s evident everywhere in my life. My living room is a pop-art display of orange and red, but that only works because the hard landscape of architecture and furniture is absolute symmetry, perpendicular lines, bisecting angles – solid and steady and mathematically correct. And for me to jazz with energy and ideas, everything – from my day planner to my diet to my exercise and meditation regime – has to be structured. The structure is what supports the magic.

It is, in fact, what feeds it.