“Be willing to be uncomfortable. Be comfortable being uncomfortable. It may get tough, but it’s a small price to pay for living a dream.”
Having trouble choosing or activating the second word of your Style Statement? It might be because it feels more challenging than your first word. If our first word is our roots, our second word is our wings … it’s how we put our lives into action. So it’s pretty important!
Our second word can evoke our lessons and struggles. We tend to repress or dance around our second word since it can be a stretch, a bit scary and uncomfortable. It needs to be to move us forward in life — it’s our edge, the thing that makes us unique and captivating.
Paradoxically enough, our second word is often what we get noticed and appreciated for, yet what we don’t embrace and nurture enough. The danger here is that we can neglect to give ourselves the gift of our desire, our talent … our dreams.
For example:
- Luminous dares to reveal and discuss relationship problems, lights up a room when she enters it, yet shrinks from starting the business she’s wanted forever and wears drab clothes.
- Bold is funny and takes a stand for her community, speaks her mind at work, but lacks courage to pursue a romance that might make her very happy because she’d have to make the first move.
- Ease creates grace and calm for others but finds herself tense and perfectionistic at work. She wears tailored suits to work but really wants to be engulfed in a drapey wrap dress.
As you can see, there’s often a contradiction happening before we claim and nurture our second word.
If you’re having trouble with yours, don’t sweat it, and don’t force it. Take a break … some discoveries happen in phases. Let yourself off the hook until you find a chance for some perspective … and out of the blue you’ll hit on it. You could be taking a shower, driving, listening to music, exercising, or even washing dishes in a trance!
When you embrace your second word, you’ll fly.
This is exactly what I needed to read this morning! It’s like you read my mind. I have been “stuck” on my second word for a couple weeks. I keep trying out different words in my mind, but none feel right (my first word is Organic by the way). I’ve considered Harmony, Grace, and Balance for my second word, but they don’t seem to push me forward in the way a second word should. This gives me something to think about in terms of exploring my edges and areas where I could grow/stretch. Thank you!
Welcome, let us know when you discover your second word.
I find this post so interesting. I was unable to be objective in this and had Carrie help me. When she told me my style statement, it made perfect sense. I doubt that I would have ever gotten to “adventure” on my own, but she nailed it for me and it has made all the difference.
Diane (refined adventure)
Any new adventures Diane?
I’m going to echo everyone here and say, wow… great post just when I needed it! Lately, I’ve been v. focused on my foundation (Innovate) that I forgot about my 20%! Of course! No surprise! This was spot-on, Carrie. Time for me to pick up some draped pieces!
BTW, been implementing a lot of the changes you suggested, though slowly, and it’s helped a lot! Thank you much!!
I’m glad it’s so timely Carolee.
My second is tenacity, but I’m starting to feel like it might be working against me. Just not feeling it at the moment.
Often we’re our second word for others but not for ourselves. May I suggest, giving yourself the gift of determination and courage in one area of your life, move towards a desire.
My second word is bold and strangely enough that above description reflects perfectly where I’m at haha I had to kind of take the first move in my current romantic situation to make way for something that makes me pretty darn happy
Jess, love to hear how your Style Statement moved you forward!
Oddly, my second word was easiest for me: play! It’s my first word that troubles me. I suppose it’s that I can’t find a word that merges mystical/zen with modern/constructed…a word that means equally connected to the past and the future, and the potentials of both. The duality of what is and what will be.
It’s been itching at me like a cheap wool sweater. And I feel as though I ought to have that word, being a logophile, a lover of words.
I suppose it will come to me, eventually. ^_^
Itching me like a cheap sweater, love that Sade. May you discover cashmere to
embrace yourself in.
Maybe “Visionary”, “Futuristic”, or “Connected” will get you in the ball park on your foundation word. It took me about a year before I found the foundation word and creative edge word that would fit right, so hang in there.
Thank you both for the encouragement. I’m pretty sure I’m Constructed Play, but I’m trying it on for size before I decide.
I just finished going through the book and finding my style statement-simply classic! Really? I feel like I’m on my way to figuring myself out…
Bravo Stephanie. Love to hear updates on your Style Statement journey.
Found the Style Statement book through an act of serendipity a couple of days ago. I am getting so much out of it, but still only half-way through the questions. At the moment I have an inkling my style statement might be Sensuous Adventure, (the sensuous is a surprise, btw – I had thought of Sensuous Whimsy, but it didn’t feel exciting until I read Adventure up in the previous comments and coveted it for my own second word) but I will keep hammering away and see if anything else comes up after I have completed the exercises.
Thank you for putting this work out into the world, it is such a beautiful way of looking at who we are and why we are here.
I’ve spent the day living with the statement Sensuous Adventure, making a mood board on Polyvore, and thinking about what those two words mean to me: I have to tell you that I have made more forward progress in my life today than I have in many years.
Adding the word ‘Adventure’ really did give me wings (and yes, I practically beg other people to live their life as an adventure without being bold enought to do so myself!). I’ve even decided to return to school and study jewellery, as well as the paint colours for my living room wall, what items I should be adding to my closet, going natural on my hair colour and letting it grow (sensuously) long again. Etc. It’s exciting. Adventurous even.
Thank you again.