What … gain weight precisely when you want to drop some? Yes. It’s oddly easy to do — I know from experience. The key culprits are:
- A restrictive, punitive attitude about what you’re “allowed” to eat
- A fear of food … a sense that it’s out to get you and sabotage you
- Obsessive thinking about the next meal and the next weigh-in
- A belief that being thin = deprivation
- An intolerance of slip-ups, which, when they happen, must mean you’re weak
What a depressing list! Yet they’re common feelings to have when we’re committed to losing weight. Paradoxically, their negative aura tends to breed a moment where we feel we’ve failed and might as well throw in the towel (and/or overeat to almost masochistically “prove” it’s over).
There’s a better way. It involves thinking not in terms of restriction, but rather in terms of abundance … abundance in the diversity of healthy foods we can still eat, abundance in the richness of life we can experience outside of mealtimes, and abundance in the satisfaction and greater confidence we’ll feel when our pants fit better.
Focusing on abundance instead of restriction casts a positive light on the process of dropping excess weight, and it leads to a more congratulatory, encouraging tone when we talk to ourselves along the way. This all makes the choice of eating fewer calories a happy, exciting one, and it’s much more sustainable than thinking about forever limiting/restricting (how bleak!).
I have five to ten extra pounds I’d like to send packing over the next couple of months. As I focus on abundance, I’ll be leaning on the following related ideas that have helped me in the past.
Three Tips for a Healthy Relationship with Food
Enjoy your food. Prepare it with care, prepare it with the freshest ingredients, and season it with flavor-packed spices and condiments. It is absolutely false to think that eating fewer calories means eating tasteless. Pay particular attention to the first few bites — they’re the most delicious and satisfying.
Eat in peace and beauty. A healthy relationship with food involves not focusing just on the food in front of us. The more we stimulate our other senses, the more full we feel in general — and the less we’re compelled to pack our stomachs to the brim. So much of overeating falls into comfort eating — so take more comfort in your environment. Light a candle for dinner, put on soothing music, and present your meal beautifully on an elegant plate.
Enhance the rest of your life. To adapt to eating less (especially in the first few days of your new lifestyle as your body and mind adjust), entertain and stimulate yourself in ways that don’t involve food. Keep a stack of amazing books and magazines nearby, redo a room or change a color scheme, go see a great movie, write a letter to that faraway friend you’ve been missing, knock it out of the park on a work project, do something to help those in need, go for a walk along one of your city’s scenic vistas, etc. The happier and more engaged you are, the more food becomes one more pleasure — which is its rightful place in your abundant life!
Since I began shopping at Whole Foods, I am not only eating better but wasting less. I shop more often, as the food there is more expensive, and I don’t want to have food going bad because I have too much in the frig. I am shopping more thoughtfully and feel better.
At a health screening last week, I was told that my “numbers” (cholesterol, blood pressure, waist girth, etc) are that of an 18 year old (I am 59). I know I need to lose about ten pounds, but I feel encouraged that I am headed in the right direction. Now…if I could only get my mind around exercising!
Oh yes, whole foods … when we turn to them everything feels better. They sometimes take more time and money in the short run, but what they give us over the long run (including our health) is invaluable. I especially liked your comment about “shopping more thoughtfully.” Being thoughtful is a great thing to be!
Congratulations on this change in your life that is making you feel proud and happy about how you are caring for yourself. So important. And one positive change can open the doors to many others …